It’s funny when you look back on your life, and see all the improvement, all the roadblocks you’ve crossed and the progress you’ve made, you still seem to be standing in the same spot. I know we are supposed to love ourselves first and assure ourselves that we are secure with each other, but sometimes it seems like it gets you no where with the people you associate with sometimes. We can lie to ourselves and say that we don’t care what people think or how they feel about us, but deep down inside we are programmed to love and to yearn love and acceptance. Sometime we end up being someone who we truly are not, yet that person is the one who is accepted by others.
Then your with a battle against the cool fall breeze. It feels so good against your face, as it pushes you back from where you really need to be headed. I once was the quiet person who didn’t speak his mind and allowed everyone to be pleased with me, but that was someone I wasn’t. I did it to keep the friends I was gaining as I once was a person who didn’t have many. But I soon found out, speaking your mind has its negatives too. I’m learning that I have to watch what I say, because as a writer, poet, thinker, and a person that likes to keep an intelligent conversation going, I can be quite passionate with my point and argumentative.
If your quiet they misunderstand you, and even if you speak your mind, sometimes they still misunderstand you. Sometimes its hard to get out your thoughts how you want them, just like that last leaf that hangs on the tree in the fall not wanting to let go. I feel like sometime, they just love you more, when you quiet. They don’t like a person who challenges what they have to say. But at the same time always trying to explain yourself can be draining and repetitive, so when do you give up? Do you go back to being the quiet person, to spare others feelings or do you speak how you feel to spare your own feelings. When its you against the world, maybe its you who should change, or maybe you are just tired of trying to be understood. Its like when you keep raking the leaves in a pile, and they just keep coming and jumping in them, and you gotta start over. My mind is jumbled like that sometimes and I often don’t know which route to take or how to react to a situation, so like the wind blowing those leaves, I act of impulse. Who doesn’t these days? But there comes a time when you have to reevaluate how you interact with people, how you base your decisions, and how you judge the world around you. Sometimes it is cool to stand your ground, but at the same time you have to learn when not to react. It’s not being passive, but its being smart and aware of the people around you and how they may react.
I have been learning that sometimes you have to think not just for yourself, but for future outcomes and how other people may react. You have to be above how you feel sometimes because your actions can paint an image in others heads despite how you may sincerely feel. There are times when you hurt people and you honestly don’t know. Some times you gotta It’s all about perception in this world sadly, and you have to give off a good perception before anyone can truly feel the urge to get to know you for you.
So forgive us fall , who sometimes neglect your message and fail to realize that you only want change for the better. You are only preparing us for the winter, because you know it’s easier to prepare and endure for the winter storm, than to try to fight it head first. Then maybe in the spring we can enjoy that new beginning. Dear Fall accept us for who we are, and understand that we are not perfect. Understand that we are stubborn in our ways and it might take a while to change. I hope this letter reaches you in good time………….